What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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