I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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