he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
