What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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