Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
