i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
