North Korea, Best Korea!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
