You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
