if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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