Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
