Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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