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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker

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• (760): View more from California

  Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Lets just say I chased with a burrito.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?

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• (386): View more from Florida

  The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.

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• (530): View more from California

  I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler

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