Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox

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(831): View more from California

I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Well it worked

(330): View more from Ohio

Not the point

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(205): View more from Alabama

i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.

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(360): View more from Washington

We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

God I hope the sex was good.

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(727): View more from Florida

You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"

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