my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.