Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes

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  (540): I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes http://tfl.nu/2t0p
  Replies (15) Good night (645) Bad night (993)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.

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  (480): I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral. http://tfl.nu/j7go
  Replies (20) Good night (3730) Bad night (843)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..

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  (904): watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too.. http://tfl.nu/rujn
  Replies (9) Good night (3342) Bad night (600)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.

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  (954): i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar. http://tfl.nu/rj0l
  Replies (13) Good night (1070) Bad night (3761)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?

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  (651): a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore? http://tfl.nu/vjlb
  Replies (12) Good night (963) Bad night (3154)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit

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  (703): rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit http://tfl.nu/mkks
  Replies (14) Good night (736) Bad night (2998)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."

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  (573): I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use." http://tfl.nu/1qa0
  Replies (8) Good night (5529) Bad night (796)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?

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  (269): A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash? http://tfl.nu/uuv0
  Replies (8) Good night (2423) Bad night (692)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.

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  (785): Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid. http://tfl.nu/egf9
  Replies (7) Good night (2093) Bad night (688)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.

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  (970): I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/hol9
  Replies (6) Good night (2444) Bad night (729)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"

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  (+61): I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs" http://tfl.nu/gwkh
  Replies (4) Good night (1547) Bad night (437)
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  (619): View more from California

  It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.

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  (619): It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him. http://tfl.nu/bq38
  Replies (4) Good night (330) Bad night (975)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.

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  (901): lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit. http://tfl.nu/r29h
  Replies (4) Good night (663) Bad night (270)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.

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  (906): We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad. http://tfl.nu/iebd
  Replies (10) Good night (1797) Bad night (365)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this

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  (602): My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this http://tfl.nu/kojj
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (196)

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