She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Blood and glitter go together right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
