Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
