But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
