Having a random hookup so left but love u
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize