Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
