Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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