those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
