According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
