Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
