you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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