do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
