i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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