Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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