You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
