i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
