my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Randomize