So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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