We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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