Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
