would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
