After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
