I will die if light touches me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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