Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
