at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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