Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
