The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
