That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
