I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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