Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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