We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
