he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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