we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
