when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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