I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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