I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
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