I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
