One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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