well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
