I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
