My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Drake has all the answers
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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