bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize