shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
one two three fourrrrnication!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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