he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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