SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
