Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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