i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
