kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
