I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
