Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
