So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dicks are not precious.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
