Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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