So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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