i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
