dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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