Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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