you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
