Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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