I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
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My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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