i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
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When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
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we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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