u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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