What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My dick has a subreddit
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
