I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
